Week 20 Report

The struggle is real.

It's amazing how much one little vacation derailed me and it's even more amazing how difficult it is to get back on the rails once I get off!  I went on vacation with the best-laid plans.  I cooked the day before, planned my meals, brought healthy food, brought a microwave, etc.  And yet...I didn't stick with my best-laid plans.

What went right:

• I ate my planned meals for breakfast and lunch.
• I ate healthy foods on my vacation--salads, broccoli, fruits, pre-made meals reheated.
• I went on a walk early in the morning most days and hit 10,000 steps most days.
• I took the steps most of the time instead of the elevator and we were on the 4th floor.
• I didn't eat meat.

What went wrong:

• I ate sugar.  I could probably stop right there since that single behavior choice affected me the most and has been the hardest to recover from.  I made that "ONE" exception, like I have so many other times, confident that I really could limit it to a one-time thing for a special occasion.  Nope.  Every day seemed to be a special occasion in one way or another, with new desserts to try.  Desserts/treats were always available.  I never had to go out of my way to get them, they were just presented to me and although I decided each morning that I wasn't going to eat treats that day, when the opportunity arose each night to eat the desserts, I did.  I told myself, "I'm on vacation.  I'll get back on track tomorrow."  Rinse, repeat.
• I ate out too much.  Yes, I had plenty of food in my cooler in the hotel room to eat, but by dinner time, my kids and I were tired of being in the hotel/conference center, tired of eating our food from home warmed up in the microwave.  We wanted to go out for dinner and we did.  I tried to make healthy choices, but eating out always equals more calories, more fat, salt, and sugar, even when you go with the "enlightened" menu choices.
• By the last day of our trip, I had spiraled a bit from eating healthy all day with dessert at night, to snacking on other off-plan foods (chips, crackers, granola bars, trail mix).  We ended our trip at an amusement park and I didn't even try to refuse the funnel cake and ice cream.  Yikes!  I think I was gearing up to be perfect again the next day so I just abandoned most of my health goals (still worked on eating veggies and didn't eat meat).

So, that was the end of week 20.  I got on the scale Sunday morning, and sure enough, those choices had an effect.  Up 2.5 pounds.  It wasn't a huge surprise, but it still struck me how significantly a few bad choices, in the midst of other good choices, could still hurt the weight loss efforts so much.  Even maintaining a weight takes diligent effort.  I didn't expect to lose, but I secretly hoped I could maintain.  Nope.

So, there I was, 2.5 pounds up.  Feeling pretty sheepish about my post the previous week about how great I was doing.  Feeling the voices of despair trying to creep into my brain saying, 

• "You'll never get this."
• "You really can't stick to a healthy plan forever."
• "Did you actually think you had changed? You are still the same person with the same ingrained bad habits just waiting to return as soon as you let your guard down."
• "This isn't going to work.  You aren't going to get to a healthy weight.  All is lost."   

Those voices tried to bring me down, but I fought to resist them with these thoughts:

• It was one week.  I will get right back on track.  All is not lost.
• I can make better choices on the next vacation.  Even if I don't, all is not lost.  I don't go on vacation all of the time.  There are still plenty of weeks at home where I can make healthy choices with more ease.  All is not lost.
• I still made healthier choices than I have in vacations past.  I exercised.  I ate nourishing nutrient-dense foods.  I didn't abandon my efforts entirely.  All is not lost.

Yes, I kept saying, "All is not lost."  There was this part of me that really worried that all was lost because of one bad week!  It's silly, I know, but my brain kept going there.  I did my best to accept what was, and move forward with diligence on the lifestyle I had worked so hard to establish before I left.  

It hasn't been easy.  Sunday was a Mother's Day celebration at my in-laws where I overindulged again.  I had so many pressing things to attend to each day this past week, some unexpected, some a result of being on vacation.  I couldn't find time to make my video for this blog on Monday like I wanted to.  I couldn't even find time to write on the blog until today.  My frenzied pace left me little time to plan meals, go grocery shopping, cook healthy, exercise.  I still haven't made it to the grocery store since before my vacation!  I've had several lunch engagements with friends (they just all fell on this week), and even though I chose places to eat where I could get my kind of food, eating out = more calories, period.  

With all of this, I've really been fighting the discouragement bug.  Every healthy choice has felt like a chore.  Getting on the treadmill, cooking, cutting up fruits and veggies, it has all felt SO hard.  It feels like I'm trudging through mud instead of skipping on the paved road.  I had one week off from cooking and other responsibilities and it's weird how hard it has been to return to those habits.  I feel like I'm FINALLY getting back to where I want to be.  I've finally made it two days in a row without eating sugar.  It doesn't seem like much, but it's a huge factor in getting things turned around for me.  I've finally made it two days in a row without eating at night.  I finally walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes today (I've been getting it in intermittently, but not for the amount of time I wanted).  When I finish writing on here, I'm going to make my meal plan and finally get to the grocery store.  I don't know what my Sunday weigh-in is going to bring, but all is not lost.  All is not lost.

Sometimes my kids say just the right thing.  I was lamenting to my daughter about getting derailed.  I said, "I had finally lost 25 pounds and now I've ruined it."  She said, "But you've still lost 20," and she gave me a wink and a smile that said, "You've got this."

Sometimes things don't go as planned.  Sometimes we fall.  Sometimes we struggle to get back up.  It doesn't feel good.  It feels embarrassing.  But success is all about getting back up and continually trying.  You never fail until you quit trying.  I will keep trying, no matter how many times I fall.

Week 19 Report

At last!  I reached my 25-pound down mark!  I don't know why 25 pounds is more exciting than 24, but it is. :)  I guess I like increments of 5. :)  I posted a long post on the Engine 2 7-day Rescue (E27DR) facebook page today and I think I'll just copy and paste a bunch of it here since I'm short on time and it says a lot of things I want to say.  I'm trying to focus on the good and forgive myself for the "bad."  The less than ideal choices I make sometimes.  Here is the post:

Struggling to be perfect at this E27DR thing?  Me too!  But don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!  I’m here to say that ANY effort in the right direction counts.  It’s amazing what a difference the past four and a half months have made, even though I’m not sure I’ve been perfect even one day.  I joined the first 7DR in January and I’ve continued my plant strong journey ever since, with many a slip here and there.  I just keep getting back up and recommitting.  I feel pretty proud of myself when my eating lines up with the original E2 plan or FOK (Forks over Knives).  When it more closely resembles 7-day rescue (and sometimes it does), that’s a major bonus!  Even with my lower standards, I’ve lost 25 pounds so far.  Also, I just got my cholesterol re-checked and it went from 201 to 143.  I was ecstatic!  I’m not saying to shoot for low standards, but if you feel like you just can’t reach the 7DR level, don’t bail out of the effort entirely.  Celebrate what you are doing right, keep trying, keep improving your habits and it will bring results, though maybe not so quickly.  I still come on this page every day to get motivated by all the wonderful, positive people on here.

Celebrating what I’ve improved:

• ·         I eat loads of veggies, both raw and cooked.  I even eat greens sometimes at breakfast! :)  I’m always looking for ways to get more veggies in.
• ·         I eat more fruit.  Fruit is my treat.
• ·         I wake up in the morning eager to get on the treadmill for 40 minutes or more (this is a miracle since I could barely bring myself to do 10 minutes in the beginning).
• ·         I’ve cut out chicken, beef, pork, (still eat fish at restaurants on rare occasions).
• ·         I’ve cut out cheese and most dairy products (still eat small amounts in condiments occasionally).
• ·         I’ve drastically reduced my oil intake and rarely cook with it (but I don’t stress about oil in pre-bought pasta sauce, etc., that’s the least of my worries! LOL!  It’s the chips I have to watch out for.)
• ·         I’ve cut out desserts, cookies, candy, ice cream, etc. (yes, I’ve had some slips here and there, but 95% of the time I don’t eat those things).
• ·         I rarely eat white flour and try to choose in-tact whole-grains over flour whole-grains as much as possible.
• ·         I cook.  I cook a lot.  Last year, I rarely cooked at all and left it up to my husband and kids because I teach piano until the dinner hour.  I didn’t think I had time to cook, but I’ve made time.  I’ve learned the power of pre-chopping and batch cooking so there is always food in the fridge read to go.  I’ve learned how helpful it is to make large quantities of soup, casserole, etc. so we can eat left-overs for lunches.  I rarely eat out because there is actually food in my fridge that I want to eat.

Sometimes I feel bad that I’m not better at this.  Sometimes I read about people losing 40 pounds (or more) in less time and I compare it to my slower weight-loss and feel a little annoyed with myself for not stepping it up more.  At other times, I am able to give myself credit for the massive changes I have made.  I am able to celebrate the energy and lightness I feel, the mental clarity, the hope, and so many other good things.  My husband is so impressed and tells me to knock it off when I start comparing or belittling my progress.  If I am going to compare, why don’t I compare it to last year when I paid money every month to go to Weight Watchers and tried to count points and never even lost 15 pounds because I just wanted to eat more food!  Losing 25 pounds in 18 weeks without counting calories, and reducing my cholesterol by 58 points is cause to celebrate! 😊

What has helped me stick to it so far?  For me, it’s not about having the right knowledge about how to eat.  I’ve known the healthiest way to eat for years and years (yes, I learned about plant-based eating way back in college!).  But how do I follow what I know is best when I am experiencing stress, when I am surrounded by temptation, when I want to emotionally eat almost as much as I want to breath?  That is the real question!  This is what is helping me so far:

• ·         Staying immersed in the plant-based community.  This is crucial because I can quickly rationalize any behavior and find some “expert” who agrees that it is healthy.  Not to mention dealing with all the helpful family and friends who worry about my diet and ask me how long I’m going to be doing this.  I have to keep reading this facebook page, keep reading plant-strong books, keep watching plant-strong documentaries, keep following plant-strong doctors like Greger, McDougal, Esselstein, Fuhrman, Bernard.  This way of living is so different than the norm and I have to keep reminding myself that it is worth it.  More than that, it is awesome!  It’s a privilege to be part of this awesome community!
• ·         Staying accountable and enlisting support.  I started a blog the first week of my journey to talk about my efforts and I’ve updated it almost every week since.  I think only one person ever looks at it, but knowing that one person will look at it keeps me in the game.  As much as I love this facebook page, I could disappear and no one would never know.  If I stop reporting on my blog, someone would know (yes, that ONE person!).  I also met a plant-based friend on this community and we e-mail each other reports on our efforts.  The blog also serves as a place to work through my feelings about emotional eating, weight-loss efforts, etc.
• ·         The book “Never Binge Again” has actually been a huge help to me as well.  It doesn’t prescribe any specific diet, but it gives you tools for defeating the voices in your head that sabotage your healthy efforts and talk you out of making the good choices you really want to make.  I highly recommend this book if you’re having trouble sticking to healthy eating for any length of time.  The book “Bright Line Eating” was also really helpful in understanding food addiction and how the brain works and why bright lines are so helpful.  I don’t feel the desire to follow that strict program, but I learned a lot from Susan Pierce Thompson’s work.
• ·         Planning meals ahead of time.  Nothing fancy here.  Just thinking ahead and asking myself: what am I going to eat this week?  What am I going to eat today?  This saves me from having to make decisions when I’m hungry and my will power is low.  I already know what I’m going to eat because I thought about it that morning and I was able to start the rice on time and/or get the ingredients I needed.
• ·         Staying positive.  It is difficult.  I don’t always succeed at this, but I’ve read the studies and shaming yourself and beating your self up really doesn’t help.  It really doesn’t make you feel like eating kale.  It makes you feel like eating Big Macs and milkshakes.  The negative voices come into my head, but I just keep talking back to them and celebrating the things I’m doing right.

I’m sure there is more, but this has already turned into a novel!  I am immensely grateful to this community!  I know there are a lot of plant-based communities out there, but this is the one that boosts me the most, even if I don’t meet the standards.  You all are awesome!  Peace, Engine 2, Plant Strong.

Week 18 Report

I filmed this on Monday but forgot to post.  I have relatives visiting so no time for writing.  I'll be back next week!

Week 17 Report

Another week down and I'm feeling fabulous.  I lost two pounds which is really the most I ever hope for in a week. :)  Eating this way felt easier than ever and I'm full of hope for the future.  I WILL do this!  I talk about these things in the video, as well as my choice to eat flour products, which is evident in this week's food photos.

FOOD THIS WEEK:

One night I was running short on time, so we ate left-over chickpea soup and veggie quesadillas (always without queso, but I don't know what else to call them!).  I used a homemade hummus with cilantro, lime, jalapeno, and curry that I got from Lindsay Nixon at Happy Herbivore.  I wanted to include a link because it is my favorite hummus ever, and oil free, but I couldn't find the recipe on her website anymore.  Anyway, I used hummus, sauteed spinach and onions, and left-over broccoli on the quesadillas.  My husband rarely compliments my food, but he really loved this.  We could probably eat it every day, if I didn't love to try new things so much.  Ha, ha!

I also served that hummus at three different parties with veggies. A couple of piano students (the ones from India), asked for the recipe because they loved it.  I guess they are used to spicy foods with curry in it so it appealed to them.  I also used it at another meal on Engine 2 crackers with chopped veggies:

In the video, I mentioned my one heavy temptation moment with cheesy bread.  I defeated the temptation to eat it and took a photo instead.  This is what I did NOT eat even though I really wanted to!

I did NOT eat this even though I really wanted to!  It's amazing what smells can do to you!

I ate the soup and quesadillas instead, then later I had a little Friday night "treat" of popcorn and a blueberry spinach banana smoothie.  I'm trying to avoid drinking my calories, even in a smoothie, but this was my reward for not eating that cheesy bread! :)

I found a new product at Costco last week.  Whole grain ramen noodles (not fried).  Since my kids love Ramen (the terrible kind), I decided to give it a try.  It doesn't have any flavor with it, but my son added some teriyaki sauce to his noodles and liked it.  It beats the other kind by a long shot.  I made a stir-fry with it.

As I mentioned, my daughter wants to eat healthier.  She loves pasta, so I made this Vegan Alfredo sauce to go with it.  I added broccoli and salad to mine...I can't  promise she did the same.

This picture celebrates that for the first time in forever, I actually ate the whole box of greens and didn't have to throw away the ones that went bad. :)

I had a lot of simple meals this week.  I made this Chickpea salad recipe and ate it on sprouted bread for a couple meals topped with spinach and tomatoes.

It was so nice to have a week where my eating felt enjoyable and easy.  I hope next week will be the same!